patrick jane forums

Quote from: truthjourney on November 28, 2018, 02:05:18 pm

Sorry Lori, I accidentally deleted your post that I'm trying to reply to. I don't even know how I managed to do that. I guess I need more coffee.

My father was an evil man. My stepfather was evil too.  I think that's why I reached out to God so strongly as my Father. He is the only real Father I've ever had. The only one who loved me, comforted me, protected me, and communicated with me in his own way. He knew what I needed. He made me feel so loved. And I loved him as I still do. I just can't say enough good things about him.

that is awesome...well not about the coffee....lol

I wish I could see God as a good Father and as I said, I am slowly learning to but it has been a long and hard journey to feel loved at all in any relationship.  I grew up with no one that showed love....I had some grandparents that loved me but long story short they seldom showed it.  I grew up not only being told I was unworthy of love but wondering what I did that was so terrible as a young child that I wasn't even worthy of a parent, sibling, or grandparents love.  I still battle this sometimes and it shows in my relationship with Christ for I would serve Him to the day I die if only to hear Him say "well done"...even if He sent me to hell.  I know He won't but the point is that I don't think much about what He gives me, only what I can give Him.  This is a remnant of what I was taught about not being worthy of love if that makes sense.