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It's a long story with me and not easy to explain. I'm 61 and I've been to so many churches in my life, some by force and others by choice. So I've seen and experienced a lot that way. It was a definite learning curve.

As a child I felt extremely close to God and I attended church regularly, a Baptist church. But it wasn't in the church that I learned about God and felt close to him. I would take walks in the woods and sit and watch and listen. One time there were rays of sunlight streaming down through the trees. It was really beautiful. I put my hands into the stream of sunlight and it was like connecting with God and I could actually feel that energy and I smiled thinking, how great you are making such beautiful things. And for me the woods were like a Cathedral where I really felt God's presence and the beauty all around me and the animals, some of which would come up to me and let me touch them. It was my sanctuary. I felt God's love just like a loving Father. If I was sad, he would comfort me. If I was afraid, he made me feel safe. If I asked questions, it was like he had a way of answering them somehow. I don't 'mean he spoke out loud or anything but it was an inward voice. He was always reassuring me.

But as I grew older, I lost that kind of close connection. The expectations of the churches I went to with their guidelines for membership and things I was expected to do and believe and the doctrines just seemed to build a wall between me and God.

Anyway, at this point in my life, I try to draw close to God like I did when I was a child. It's hard to really listen the same way now as I did then because I was changed so much in churches and things got in the way. But there are still times when I can hear him speaking to me inside when I really listen. I know that one day I will once again have and feel that close connection with God. I look forward to that. I still think of God as a loving Father and I cherish those memories I had as a child with childlike faith when there was nothing to interfere with that.
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I'm blessed to have never lost my childlike faith. I've just always known that God is real and near since as far back as I can remember, so my parents must have told me about God. Yes tj I love being in the woods and all of nature and I have a deep love for all animals. I pray for everybody here and I'm praying that you get that close connection back and more !!!


I can go a month or more of not feeling close to God but usually it's not that long. I can't always pray like I want to or should. But when I really think and focus on God and Jesus Christ I can feel the spirit and I feel extremely close to God. He has been working in my life and making good things happen. I give all praise and glory to God.


As I look back on my life I can see that God was doing different things with me at different periods. I strayed and stopped believing for years. I was watching Ancient Aliens and learing about the Mayans. I was reading a book about Edgar Cayce "The Sleeping Prophet". I was way out there, way off base. I started believing all that crap and never reading the Bible.

It's when I started using a small but long pocket KJV Bible that the holy spirit started speaking to and teaching me. I still get the same spirit whenever I read that or any Bible now. But I really enjoy the King James version. You will get that close relationship back soon so pray for it. Thank you for sharing again. You have shared so much with us on both forums and we all feel like we know you you. I feel like I know all of you and more each day.I like this smaller forum sometimes.