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Author Topic: Chaplain's Chat  (Read 7920 times)

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Chaplain Mark Schmidt

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Re: Chaplain's Chat
« Reply #143 on: April 02, 2021, 08:49:21 pm »
So I had this chance to apply a theory I had wanted to try.  I normally do not do counseling for married couples.  It is just not my area of expertise.   A couple that I have known for about 6 years asked me if I had any suggestions on how they can get their marriage back on track or at least start the communications to do that.   They went into details on what they felt were issues that they felt were causing their problems.   It struck me that there was something under this that they were suppressing. 

So here was my solution for them to try. 

Many of the local Churches have meditation Labyrinths located on their property.  These are used for many things.  I, myself use them to help me think through issues or to recenter.  When I am writing I use them to help fight through blocks.  So I asked them if they had ever walked a Labyrinth before.  Neither had.  So I told them this is what I wanted them to do.  Go to one of the bigger ones.  I gave them the locations.   Once they get there to get to the starting point.  Face each other, say a prayer together while facing each other and looking into each other eyes.  Then tell each other they love them.  THen ladies first as they start walking the maze patterned, she states something that she has an issue with.  He can not say a word, can not argue or rebut.   Then it's his turn.  The same applies to her.  No rebuttal, just each stating the issues all the way into the center circle.  They have to get it all out the negative.  I suggested they adjust the pace so everything is out of their system by the time they get to the center.   

Once in the center, they were to face each other and hold hands again.  They were to thank each other for the honesty, say they love each other again, then say the same prayer from the start.  Then start the journey out of the maze pattern.  This time though to tell each other all the good things, good memories, and anything positive.  He getting to start this time.   Once they got done again hold hands facing each other, say they love each other then end with the Lord's prayer.

I told them to do all this early in the morning.   Once done go someplace and have a nice breakfast together.  They can not bring up anything said at the maze or discussion in any fashion what was said.  Talk about anything else.   In fact not to say a word on it until the evening so both of them have time to quietly contemplate what was said by the other and reflect on it.   Only then should they have a discussion.

I was afraid this might not work but it was at least a shot at a starting point.

That was ten days ago.  They told me today Good Friday they had done it this morning and followed through and they feel the results were "Fantastic" as they both feel relief and understanding and feel they can now work through things.  The best thing they said this separate from each other in separate text messages.   I hope it does work.

Say each prayer as if it is your very last conversation with God and live each day as your last day to glorify God by your actions and words.”

My rule of spiritual life.  6/22/2021

Lori Bolinger

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Re: Chaplain's Chat
« Reply #144 on: April 03, 2021, 10:25:32 am »
Painfully honest communication, something my husband and I had to learn...different learning technic but the same lesson.

BTW, we did an interesting study on marriage.  Based on the passage in Ephesians 5 that the husband is to love the wife as Christ Loved the church, how did Christ Love the church...?  So we laid Isaiah 53 how Christ loved the church, next to Prov. 31 the wife of noble character and looked at how they fit together... a fascinating study that changed our marriage.

For example...Is. 53:1 who has believed our report and to who is the arm of the Lord revealed...Christ loved the church with revelation...Prov. 31:10 Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies....Christ's revelation reveals the wife (churches) value which was enough value to send Him to the cross...

Just an example, a huge deal when you consider that the world tries to strip our (women) value from them.

patrick jane

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Re: Chaplain's Chat
« Reply #145 on: April 03, 2021, 06:49:47 pm »
We have a thread in this forum titled Marriage and Family
Get Right
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Chaplain Mark Schmidt

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Re: Chaplain's Chat
« Reply #146 on: April 22, 2021, 10:14:19 pm »
A  minister friend sent me this story.

He was performing at a wedding.  As he was wrapping up his brief sermon to the people about the rites and importance of marriage, he said he decided to go off-script.  The following is the best I could transcribe what was on the video he sent.

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me change course here.  As you know we members of the clergy like our counseling sessions.  I have a total of five I put the bride and groom through, two each individually and one as a couple.  I ask a lot of questions to make sure I am comfortable performing the ceremony.    During the second individual session with the bride, she said something very profound.  Now most all of us here know this is a re-marriage. They were married to each other before.  They divorced seven years ago.  Of course, my concern is what will make this different this time.   Her answer is worth everyone hearing

Let me get it out here, I wrote it down right after she left my office.  It struck me as that valuable of an insight. 

Her: That is a very good question.  Here is how it is for me.  We had issues during the last part of our 24-year marriage.  We had grown apart and at times even hated on each other.  During the seven years apart, I died inside.   I died when we signed the divorce papers, I died inside.  I felt like I had failed me, I failed him, I failed my kids.   It never changed or got better as time passed.  Then one particularly down day it dawned on me.   I had to die inside to be able to live outside.  Once I decided I needed him in my life and I wanted to live on the outside, well, it was like my soul was reborn, reenergize, that it was like springtime in my heart and soul.   I made the decision I wanted to live on both the inside and the outside.

Yes, that sounds kind of hokey to some, but look at your partner, look at your family, your kids, and those you are around.  Ask yourself, have you, they, made this same decision?   Do you want to live on both the inside and outside?  Or, are you willing to stay where you are and die a little inside each day as you fail to live on the outside? 
Now let's get these two married.
Say each prayer as if it is your very last conversation with God and live each day as your last day to glorify God by your actions and words.”

My rule of spiritual life.  6/22/2021
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Chaplain Mark Schmidt

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Re: Chaplain's Chat
« Reply #147 on: April 23, 2021, 11:28:27 pm »
 “The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.”  “The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis ” (1942) 
Strikes me as something we all need to remember is time does not favor anyone, he moves at its pace no matter what.
Say each prayer as if it is your very last conversation with God and live each day as your last day to glorify God by your actions and words.”

My rule of spiritual life.  6/22/2021
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Bladerunner

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Re: Chaplain's Chat
« Reply #148 on: April 24, 2021, 09:18:34 pm »
“The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.”  “The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis ” (1942) 
Strikes me as something we all need to remember is time does not favor anyone, he moves at its pace no matter what.

interesting book.

Blade
1 Cor 15:3-4.."For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:"

Acts 17:11.."These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so."

Chaplain Mark Schmidt

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Re: Chaplain's Chat
« Reply #149 on: May 12, 2021, 04:33:30 pm »
Here is a new one for me.

Who has heard of Manichsrism?   Interesting thinking and what little I found online on its theology.

Just curious if anyone else knows of it and your thinking on it from an academic standpoint.  I know what most will think from a Christian and religious viewpoint.
Say each prayer as if it is your very last conversation with God and live each day as your last day to glorify God by your actions and words.”

My rule of spiritual life.  6/22/2021
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Bladerunner

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Re: Chaplain's Chat
« Reply #150 on: May 12, 2021, 07:36:59 pm »
Here is a new one for me.

Who has heard of Manichsrism?   Interesting thinking and what little I found online on its theology.

Just curious if anyone else knows of it and your thinking on it from an academic standpoint.  I know what most will think from a Christian and religious viewpoint.

Mark have a PDF on this subject."Manichaeism:  Its sources and influences on western christianity"

Here is the link to this article. I not studied it in depth so I can not give any opinions.  https://www.researchgate.net/publication/250376439_Manichaeism_Its_Sources_and_Influences_on_Western_Christianity


Enjoy

Blade
1 Cor 15:3-4.."For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:"

Acts 17:11.."These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so."
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Chaplain Mark Schmidt

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Re: Chaplain's Chat
« Reply #151 on: May 12, 2021, 08:48:38 pm »
Thank you Blade, I will look at this and see what's up with it.  A whole new area to explore. 
Say each prayer as if it is your very last conversation with God and live each day as your last day to glorify God by your actions and words.”

My rule of spiritual life.  6/22/2021

Chaplain Mark Schmidt

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Re: Chaplain's Chat
« Reply #152 on: July 21, 2021, 01:18:33 am »
A good book, Simply Trinity by Matthew Barrett   Very good book on the Trinity and the Triune God.  While many will not agree with parts of this, an open mind will give you a lot of information and background that is great knowledge.
Say each prayer as if it is your very last conversation with God and live each day as your last day to glorify God by your actions and words.”

My rule of spiritual life.  6/22/2021

 

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