patrick jane forums

Reposted at PJ hint

So I had this chance to apply a theory I had wanted to try.  I normally do not do counseling for married couples.  It is just not my area of expertise.   A couple that I have known for about 6 years asked me if I had any suggestions on how they can get their marriage back on track or at least start the communications to do that.   They went into details on what they felt were issues that they felt were causing their problems.   It struck me that there was something under this that they were suppressing.

So here was my solution for them to try.

Many of the local Churches have meditation Labyrinths located on their property.  These are used for many things.  I, myself use them to help me think through issues or to recenter.  When I am writing I use them to help fight through blocks.  So I asked them if they had ever walked a Labyrinth before.  Neither had.  So I told them this is what I wanted them to do.  Go to one of the bigger ones.  I gave them the locations.   Once they get there to get to the starting point.  Face each other, say a prayer together while facing each other and looking into each other eyes.  Then tell each other they love them.  THen ladies first as they start walking the maze patterned, she states something that she has an issue with.  He can not say a word, can not argue or rebut.   Then it's his turn.  The same applies to her.  No rebuttal, just each stating the issues all the way into the center circle.  They have to get it all out the negative.  I suggested they adjust the pace so everything is out of their system by the time they get to the center.   

Once in the center, they were to face each other and hold hands again.  They were to thank each other for the honesty, say they love each other again, then say the same prayer from the start.  Then start the journey out of the maze pattern.  This time though to tell each other all the good things, good memories, and anything positive.  He getting to start this time.   Once they got done again hold hands facing each other, say they love each other then end with the Lord's prayer.

I told them to do all this early in the morning.   Once done go someplace and have a nice breakfast together.  They can not bring up anything said at the maze or discussion in any fashion what was said.  Talk about anything else.   In fact not to say a word on it until the evening so both of them have time to quietly contemplate what was said by the other and reflect on it.   Only then should they have a discussion.

I was afraid this might not work but it was at least a shot at a starting point.

That was ten days ago.  They told me today Good Friday they had done it this morning and followed through and they feel the results were "Fantastic" as they both feel relief and understanding and feel they can now work through things.  The best thing they said this separate from each other in separate text messages.   I hope it does work.