patrick jane forums

.
I have PTSD from childhood when I heard the cussing, screaming and yelling and the sounds of my dad beating my mom. I was helpless and scared and loud talking, yelling and cussing make me cringe and shut down or I go the other way and start yelling back.

I had a lot of that too. In fact there were several unborn children when my mother was pregnant who were stillborn because of the beatings from my stepfather. My stepfather was a real piece of work.

Thankfully, I was never abused sexually but then I was abused by kids in the neighborhood. I fought back and won my fights earning a reputation as being tough that lasted until high school. I never fought in high school, just didn't have to but I started skipping school a lot.

Bullying. Some of my classmates would tell me that my mother and father must not love me because I was in foster care. That was hard but I survived it. There were a few times in high school that I had to physically defend myself. I mean being in foster care, you have to learn to defend yourself or you'll get beaten down by so many people.

I was never involved too deeply in a church etc. and I was not sexually active until age 24 because I was too busy getting high. [/size]

I was forced to go to whatever church my foster parents went to and unfortunately those were satanic cult churches. It was all set up that way by the system from the top to the bottom. That's just the way it was.